1. Listen before speaking. Active listiening helps you and your loved one feel understood.
2. Don't enter into a disagreement with pre-concieved notions, no matter how much you think they're true. It is very possible you could be wrong.
3. Allow your loved one to win an argument. Even if you believe he/she is wrong. Opinions are often based on perception. Perceptions are usually based in some degree on facts that shouldn't be underestimated.
4. Be forgiving and willing to apologize, even if you think you're right. There is no such thing as as a win/loose. Those who need to win or be right create a loose/loose everytime.
Despite feeling you won, in reality you have lost. There is never any exceptions to this.
Make your disagreements about win/win, and finding solutions to your problems together.
5. Be willing to share your anger without rage. Rage is distructive, anger is a normal human emotion. Listen to your loved one's anger without personalizing. It's not always about you.
6. Accept alternative view points other than your own.
7. Validate and provide a sense of understanding that communicates you care.
8. Accentuate the positives in your partner unconditionally.
9. Do not use the past to illustrate a point of contention, unless it is used to help identify a positive.
Praise your loved one for a job well done when it is deserved.
10.Last but not least, the most important thing to do in an argument is to keep your disagreements in the here and now, not about the past.